Not many men and women actually take the time to learn about genital massage.

That’s a real shame, because this can be one of the most sensual forms of touch you can give a man or a woman.

I will talk about giving an genital massage on a woman, but many of the following tips aply to a massage on a man.

It hits all the right physical spots, but also connects with your lovers emotionally.

You’re being dominated because you’re touching her body in while she’s lying before you, vulnerable. You’re also telling her you care because you’re making her feel good without asking for that pleasure in return.

Genital massage doesn’t have to start differently from a regular massage. In fact, it’s really sexy to peel off layers as you go, starting with her fully clothed and ending with her fully (or nearly) naked.

You want to make her relax by rubbing her muscles, concentrating on each muscle group.

Use a soft, yet firm, touch. You don’t want to give her a massage that will make her muscles sore, but at the same time, you don’t want your touch to be ticklish.

You should always use kisses as part of your genital massage. Trail kisses wherever you’re rubbing her and make sure to hit all of her erogenous zones.

That doesn’t mean that you should start fingering her right away. For a woman, the neck, hands, backs of the legs, and torso can all be extremely sensitive, so sure these areas of the body attention before moving to massaging her pussy.

Breast play is important here, but in varying degrees depending on the girl you’re with.

Some girls are extremely turned on when a man plays with their nipples and kisses around the breast. Other girls have overly sensitive nipples and you could hurt them if you flick or pinch them.

Still over girls are fairly unresponsive; playing with their nipples isn’t a turn on, but they don’t mind it either. Cater the amount of time you spend on her breasts to the girl in your bed.

An genital massage that ends with your fingers in her isn’t necessarily the same as fingering a girl.

Typically, when you finger a girl, it’s fast, passionate, and about getting her to cum ASAP. With erotic massage, there’s still that passion, and sometimes you’ll move your fingers quickly, but the focus hear is not on building her to climax – yet.

Instead, you want to relax her, making her feel calm as she enjoys the sensations. Trust me. This is actually helping her build to a huge orgasm in the end, even if it doesn’t seem like it right away.

When massaging her pussy, start with your fingers on the outside. Here’s where learning a little about female anatomy comes in hand. Basically, the most sensitive part on the outside is her clitoris.

Every girl has a clit, and if you picture a vagina as a slit, this will be a little hood-covered button at the top of the slit. For most women, the area right around, especially above, the clit is extremely sensitive as well.

Spend time massaging from the outside before slipping a finger or two into her. You’ll want to rub her lips, slowly massage her clit, and even tease her anally a little (from the outside) unless she voices objections.

As with massaging other parts of her body, trail kisses along her pussy as well, but don’t worry about focusing too much on oral sex yet. We’ll save that for later.

Remember, sex is a marathon, not a sprint, so don’t be afraid to take foreplay slow.

I cover more in my genitial and erotic massage newsletter